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Hell opens new ski resort


Last updated 2/9/2010 at Noon

The devil could not be reached for comment, but one of his evil minions said, “This is depressing. We’re just not really in the snow and ice business here. I just feel sad for whoever has to tell the Lava Men.”

The minion, who asked to be referred to as “Chad” because “you couldn’t pronounce my netherworld name,” said he was tricked into doing Lucifer’s bidding after originally being promised a job with the Peace Corps.

He reluctantly wished the New Orleans Saints, “all the best, fellas.” I passed a sign on my way out of Lake Charles Monday – a take on the “Got Milk?” ads. Except this one read “Got Colt Gumbo?”

After the Saints won Sunday my normally quiet neighborhood in L.C. – on the other side of the state from New Orleans – was filled with cheers, car honks and firecrackers (or gun shots?) going off.

We didn’t have to go to Bourbon Street. It came to us, and I imagine there will be many who continue to party right up through Mardi Gras and beyond.

And while they’re at it, why even bother with that ol’ Lent thing anyway?

It was the most watched show in history, seen by 10.6 million to beat the record set by 1983’s finale of “M*A*S*H.”

My wife Martha had a suggestion that, just for this one halftime performance, the Who should have changed their name to “De Who Dat?” But I guess that would have ticked off some Colts fans. The band’s drummer looked like he’d been born back when Roger Daltrey turned all of 55.

What did you think of the commercials? Some were cute, I’ll agree, but it seemed like the creativity just wasn’t there in 2010. I liked the beaver who played a fiddle, the house made of Bud Light and the Chevy Chase/Beverly D’Angelo “Vacation” spoof.

The Letterman/Oprah/Leno spot was more a curiosity than anything – you just wondered if they killed each other after the filming stopped.

The Puppy Bowl VI on Animal Planet had a couple of additions from previous outings. Rabbits who did nothing at all except twitch their noses “cheered” on the sidelines; and hamsters “piloted” the Twizzlers Blimp.

“Jake,” a chihuahua pug mix (a “chug”) who ran circles around the competition, was the MAP (Most Active Player); and at halftime the kittens were mesmerized by moving, rodent-like toys.

(But it was all for a good cause, as they say. Most of the animals featured were from shelters and adopted after the game).

Some will tell you another Saints Super Bowl victory can happen again next year. Others say this was a fluke – it may be another 43 years or more.

After the game, Twitter commentators weren’t too kind on Archie Manning, the former N.O. quarterback who supported his son’s Colts for the big game.

There’s nothing wrong with supporting your own family but he might have been more diplomatic, as in, “Well of course I want my son to win but after so many bad seasons and cruel jokes by the fans, this may just be the year for New Orleans.”

I think CBS could capitalize on that by bringing back “All in the Family,” except instead of Archie Bunker, you’d have Archie Manning. He’s constantly complaining about his “Meathead” son Peyton who lost the Super Bowl.

Drew Brees could play the annoying neighbor who drops by to taunt them.

“Ah Geez Edith, there’s that kid from the Saints again. Give him some beads and make him go away.”

New Orleans will go back to its vampires and ghosts, but for now there is something the residents can celebrate – regardless of position or politics – in that burning city of yellow lights and silver ashes.



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