Santa gets his feathers ruffled
Last updated 12/22/2020 at 7:39pm
While waiting in line to see if I was old enough to qualify for my vaccine shot, this burly dude with a white beard and straggly white hair comes barging in a shoved his way ahead of me in the line.
“Hey buddy,” I told him, “you can’t just break into line like that!!”
“I’m in a big hurry and besides I’m older than you, so I belong ahead of you,” he retorted.
“Just because you look older doesn’t mean you are,” I told him as I was starting to lose my patience. “Now get your butt at the end of the line like the other people waiting for this shot.”
He whirled around and in a miffed voice said, “You don’t know who you’re talking to in that tone of voice.”
As he walked past me in a huff, he dropped a neatly scrolled document with a map on it which had names and gifts listed as follows:
COUNTY RECORD OFFICE MANAGER JANELLE SEHON—A Journalism Award for helping me make additions and corrections to my Kaz’s Korner and Fearless Forecast every week.
TEXAS AGGIES FOOTBALL PROGRAM—The Green Wienie Award for being purposely overlooked for the Final Four while Notre Dame, who got blown out by Clemson Saturday, is the No. 4 team that will get killed in the semifinal round by No. 1 Alabama. The other semifinal game pits Clemson against over-rated Ohio State.
NEW YORK JETS—The “Oh-Oh” Award for messing up and defeating the Los Angeles Rams 23-20 Sunday and threatening their sure bid for the No. 1 pick in the 2021 NFL draft next spring as the Jacksonville Jaguars have the same sorry 1-13 record.
LAMAR UNIVERSITY’S HEAD FOOTBALL COACH BLANE MORGAN—A Gold Medal for recruiting so many high school prospects from Southeast Texas schools.
SUNSET GROVE GOLFER KENNY RUANE—The Iron Man Award for having to deal with his daily medical problems and then managing to play golf four or five times each week.
FORMER HOUSTON TEXANS HEAD COACH BILL O’BRIEN—The Penthouse to the Outhouse Award for getting rid of Hall of Fame caliber players like wide receiver D’Andre Hopkins because he didn’t like his locker room demeanor and wonders why he got fired after starting this season 0-4.
VIRTUAL BRIDGE TOURNAMENT PARTNER SUSAN PENNINGTON—A Giant Hourglass to count down the time when we can once again play bridge eyeball-to-eyeball instead of computer-to-computer.
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS HEAD COACH PETE CARROLL—A Defense like he had with the Legion of Boom so quarterback Russell Wilson won’t have to continue struggling to outscore every opponent.
HOUSTON TEXANS QUARTERBACK DESHAUN WATSON—A Letter of Commendation from the Better Business Bureau for becoming a minority owner of Lefty’s Cheesesteaks with Detroit founder Sam Perry. His new restaurant will be a short distance from NRG Stadium.
FORMER SUNSET GROVE GOLFER BOB HOOD—A Break from the Pandemic so he can leave his San Antonio Retirement Community and resume normal activities again.
DALLAS COWBOYS BACKUP QUARTERBACK ANDY DALTON—The Sweet Revenge Award for being presented with the game ball after beating the Cincinnati Bengals last week after they unceremoniously dumped him after signing their No. 1 draft pick. And look where they now are!!!
WEST ORANGE-STARK HEAD COACH CORNEL THOMPSON—A 2021 Football Schedule where every game is played with all Mustangs healthy.
ALABAMA RUNNING BACK NAJEE HARRIS—A Shoulder Harness to make carrying his Crimson Tide team on his shoulders a bit easier after scoring five touchdowns Saturday in his team’s 52-46 victory over the Florida Gators in the SEC championship game.
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS QUARTERBACK PHILIP RIVERS—The Methuselah Trophy for being 39 years old and on Sunday started in his 238th straight NFL game. And he is still talented enough to exploit the Houston Texans’ defense, leading his team to a 27-20 win to stay in a first-place tie with Tennessee in the AFC South Division.
TEXAS HIGH SCHOOL STATE FOOTBALL CHAMPIONS IN CLASS 4A—A Box of Ivory Snow to signify the squeaky-clean records of Division I champ Argyle (16-0), which won its second state title, and Carthage (14-0), which won its eighth title in 13 years under Head Coach Scott Surratt.
TAMPA BAY TIGHT END ROB GRANKOWSKI—The Right Choice Award for accepting the invitation from long-time buddy Tom Brady to un-retire and play this season for the Buccaneers. His performance as a receiver and solid blocker should help Tampa Bay get into the NFL playoffs for the first time in 13 years.
SUNSET GROVE GOLFER CRAIG COUVILLION—A Name Tag so if and when people actually see him, they’ll remember who he is because he is working all the time.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS HEAD COACH BILL BELICHICK—A Grocery Sack to put over his head for failing to make the NFL playoffs for the first time since 2008.
ORANGE AND BEAUMONT BRIDGE DIRECTOR ED RASMUSSEN—A Candle to signify that the directors of the daily virtual tournaments can’t hold a candle to the smooth (and fair) way he does his job.
NOTRE DAME’S BRIAN KELLY AND CLEMSON’S DABO SWINNEY—A Formal Complaint to the NCAA for scheduling a College Football Semifinal playoff game at the huge Rose Bowl on New Year’s Day but prohibiting families of the players from attending the game.
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS—The Best Friend Award in the form of a statue of the Houston Texans bull mascot after the team has literally handed them two wins by committing fumbles on the goal line twice and not only losing the ball, but losing the football games as well.
DALLAS COWBOYS –The Weird Streak-Breaking Award because the team had not gotten a kickoff returned for a touchdown since 2008. Then on Sunday, rookie Cee Dee Lamb caught a San Francisco 49er onside kick and raced 41 yards for a touchdown that secured the 41-33 victory and kept the Cowboys’ slim hope for a playoff berth still alive.
HOUSTON TEXANS—A Precarious Situation because the team is searching for the best new general manager and head coach available, while the top available talent has a tendency to shy away from a team that is dead last in rushing and has a big problem defending against the pass—especially the long throws.
AND A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO Mike Lemons, Victor Romero, Archie McClelland, Jeff Thomas, Johnny Montagne, Jerry Triggs, Ronnie Hutchison, Julie Mouton, Pierre De la Fosse, Chris Trout, Gwen Whitehead, Troy Manuel, Missy Pillsbury, Susan Pennington, Brad Prejean, John Morris, Larry Moerbe, Judy Arnaud, Tom Toal, Steve Betz, Jerry Windham, Bill Van, Gail Beckett, Larry Ancelot, Bobby Nelson, Carl Sanders, Matt Purgahn, David Thompson, James Denmon, Mike King, Durwood Bennett, Bob Cockerill, Chris Allen, Matt Morgan, Sid Caillavet, Doug Patterson, Mike Shuff, Jim King, Tiki Russell, Alex Morrow, John Cochran, David Benoit, Bart Corder, Roy Peterson, Jimmy Sichko, Ken Ruane, Joe Murphy, David Ess, John Dubose, Lacy Hale, Derry Dunn, Mark Williams, Gary Cook, Bobby Eddings, Tommy Gunn, Mac Guillory, Buddy Hahn, Glynn Aldredge, Jim Rodda, Pat Bell, Kerry Lamb, Brian Hudson, Mike Poutra.
Joe Ely, Trez Sichko, Ella Mulhollan, Allen Beauchamp, Harley Bennett, John Patterson, Wanda Peveto, Larry Duhon, David Sand, Milton Newton, Mike Parish, Robert Baca, Jim Brown, Ruth Hancock, Mark Hebert, John Toomey, Stacy Hoffpauir, Tina Lawrence, Richard Duffee, Tammy Torrez, Mike Shahan, Wes Duvall, James Vidrine, Ken St. John, David Bridges, Jim Matthews, Tommy Reed, Alan McDade, Sandra Hall, Wayne Brint, Raquel Goodboddie, Jajemi Plut, V.L. Grimes, David Loden, Brian Waguespack, Ryan Chandler, Manuel Godina, Joseph Droddy, Wayne Baker, James Thurman, Mac Patterson, Bill Belcher, Shanna McCallon, Don Olivier, Jerry Ling, Brenda Buxton, Regina Edwards, Frank Hatton, Willow Simpson, Kathy Gunn, Dean Crooks, J. D. Quarles, Wade Gillet, Jerry McDonald, Jerry Pennington, Chrisleigh Dal Sasso, Cathy Day.
Lindsey Nelson, Jim Sharon Bearden, Dan Perrine, Billy Burrow, Dan Cochran, Ken Bridgers, George Crawford, Michelle Broussard, Jim Simon, Jack McClelland, J.R. Edmondson, Scottie Wilson, Willie Bednar, James Lopez, Bobby Duhon, Carlos Vacek, Roy Locks, George Toal, Mike Lucia, Jim Dunaway, Jack Tindel, Ray Pousson, Jim Ehlert, Bryce Conner, Mike Mazzola, Faye Parish, Gilbert Myers, Kathy Polansky, Sweet Helen Edwards, Pat Murphy, Leo Simpson, Mike McKown, Clint Hathaway, Jerry Decker, Mike Holbrook, Lee Roy Boehme, Jr., Jerry Ann Trouard, Jimmy Boyd, Donnie Mires, Connie Woods, Bobby Swan, Noel Griffith, Larry Hammett, Tom Day, Bryan McKinley, Donny Ratcliff, Don Lormand, Robert Dunn, Violet Branch, Robert Roesler, Bobby Corder, Roy Dunn, Raymond Guilbeaux, Johnny Dugas, Paula Burton.
Martha Rogers, Robert Burris, Jerry Caillier, Carolyn Lemons, John Scofield, Carol Perry, Kenny Lalonde, Linn Cardner, Mike Catt, Pete Runnels, Russell Bottley, James Luna, Dick Powell, Billie Carter, David Teague, Carl Floyd, Skip Moore, Pete Sterling, Brian Murphy, Montie Moran, Doug Rogers, Rick Keszeg, Cary Bresie, Scott Garvie, Pat Key, Rodney Townsend, Bob Byerly, Bart Williams, Loretta Edwards, Sandy Withrow, Janet Lemoine, Diane Grooters, Lynn Smith, Ebb Moore, Daisy Arnett, Steve Pomeroy, Jerrod Bland, Barry Thibodeaux, Charles Broussard, Sharon Bearden, Bob Hoepner, Ferral Ashby, Joe Doucet, J.B. Arrington, Bill Ellison, Dana Cruse, Dennis Lee, Jerry Ann Trouard, Teresa Caraway.
Dennis Bishop, Gus Beuershausen, Leon Delome, Grant Gipson, Jeep Colburn, Jerry Nichols, Kevin Hebert, Brian Mingle, Loretta Hughes, Dwayne Mims, Johnny Grooters, Oscar Smith, Pete Gresham, Charlie Miller, Chris Gunn, Ed Dyer, Bill Jackson, Bill Bromley, Mike Bernard, Ken Wernig, Todd McLane, John Tate, Hal LaPray, Bob Campbell, Roderick Robertson, Buddy Hahn, Mark Foreman, Manuel Solis, Neil Watts, John Martinez, Terry Childers, Joan Quartermont, Jeff Mathews, Tiffany Rochelle, Dempsie Jaynes, Kyle Walker, Randy Brown, Clay Dugas, Ellis Boyd, Ron Cowling, Ruth Corder, Billy Bayliss, Andre Robertson, David Montagne, Earl Collier, Dewey Scott, Robert Tywater, Louise Savoy, Darrel Latiolais, John Cash Smith, Mary Beth Benoit, Jimmy Verrett, Angelique Catt, Russell Cronin, Al Granger, Kris Cherry, Richard Turkel, Rodney Townsend, Jr., Mark Williams.
David Dunn, Cecil Byers, Ollie Halten, Waymon Sibley, Rufus Flurry, Aaron Burke, Kris Olsen, Wayne Sparrow, David Hoelzer, James Bloodworth, Ron Roberts, Mike Hebert, Tim Hughes, Phillip Madar, Myrt Myers, Lou Garriga, Becky Grant, Vicki Landry, Gene Steele, Ken Reeves, Jimmy Ray Burris, Brenda Morgan, Robert Mortimer, Mark Meadows, Jody Gray, Ruby Collins, Chris Hyde, Gloria McKee, Clifford Bray, Darline Zavada, Todd Marburgh, Dawn Collins, Stacy Caillavet, John Broussard, Greg Choate, Dave Walsh, Williard Lanier, Calvin Collins, Lynae Sanford, Greg Smith, Jerome Wilkerson, Joyce Prescott, Keith Hogan, David Piland, Lana Stogner, Kevin Philen, Vernon Davis, David Hollier, John Lister, Anthony Padilla, Erin Godina, Greg Turbeville, Bob McGill, Gail Griffith, Danny Blacksher, Terry Myers, Johnny Trahan, Curt Leger, George Nevarez, Patrick Toomey, Larry Fisher.
Gary Pollock, Sandy Walker, Anita Vidrine, Bud Martin, Natalie Simon, Jerry Meads, Gary Mainero, Steve Taylor, Richard Scott, Lisa Dies, Mark Netherly, Barbara Hayes, Derrick Jones, Dale Peddy, Todd Hoffpauir, Terry Steubing, Donna Evans, Jack Burke, Teresa Schreck, David Davis, Shirley Walker, Larry Woods, Steve Champion, Rex Ansley, Connie Burnitt, Greg Willis, Pat Anglin, George Baker, Steve Issacs, Susan Nimmo, James Blair, Troy Burton, Homer Stockton, Nita Duffee, Vic Arceneaux, Rick Keszeg, Don Burgess, Tommy Carroll, Barbara Bergeron, Brenda Campbell, Paula Legate, Connie Lemaire, Debbie Perry, Scott Swearingen, Camilla Richard, Phyllis McCall, Brandon Prouse, Steve Griffith, Carolyn Schramm, Jessie West, C.A. Keasler, Betty Merchant, Ronnie Moody, John Young, Kay Morris, Jim Dwight, George Mortimer, Larry Willette, Leon King, Hughie Allen, Gail Griffith, John Rowland, Leon Evans, Preston Fuller, Karl Eason, Jim Mouton, Kerry Franks, Peggy O’Leary, Bret Johns, J.D. Willis, John Hurn, B.J. Morgan, Wayne Iles.
Bob Campbell, Ralf Mims, Louis Manuel, Richard Roddy, Sandy Turner, Shea Simon, Chris Cartwright, Sam Lucia, Jack Jones, Shirley “Fuzz” Ware, Tim Stelly, Gary Ware, Warren Claybar, Charlie Greenwell, Gary Mulhollan, J.C. Sea, John Hardin, Gene Tannehill, Anne Foster, Matt Murphy, Mike Collins, Sam Hudson, Aubrey Welch, Virgie Thomas, Charlotte Guillory, Elray Henson, Marilyn Malvo, Chad Havens, Wendy Rost, Josh Smalley, Jeff Elliott, Art Mason, Marcelle Adams, Mike Reed, Ray Tilley, Keith Doucet, Chad Bryant, Victor Enard, Violet Branch, Roddy Richards, Hugh Granger, Toby Foreman, Gary Thibodeaux, Stephen Lee, David Winfrey.
Doug Posey, Rick Sand, Joe Raburn, Wallace Culps, Angie Simar, Bryant Calcote, Wayne Lowe, Jack Horton, Tony Perry, Gene Dixson, Joy Haney, Bruce Savoy, Becky Rhoden, Dean Priddy, Randy Vayon, Heath Martin, Ed Freiberg, George Sepulvado, Johnny Dorman, Ronnie Puckett, Brenda Campbell, Lori Thompson, Madge Rogers, Travis Ashworth, Marty Monogue, Dave Young, Jeremy Green, Harry Sharpless, Bobbie Murphy, Jill Williams, Brandon Seaman, Jodie Pledger, Richard Terry, Marla Zoch, Quincy Procell, Donna Nichols, John Gradnigo, Judy Lowe, Richard Porter, Bart Williams, Joyce Drake, Buddy Miller, Jim Rawls, Bill Nicholas, Mark Berton, Ray “Mario” Dal Sasso, Jane Couvillion, Mickey Bergeron, Cheree Benoit, Jakie Stine, Tom Edwards, Pat Clark.
Jonathan Vandagriff, David Haney, Ron McPherson, Gene McCormick, Delle Bates, Ray Montagne, Wayne Outlaw, Carl Thibodeaux, Julie Hurn, Mike Bernard, Paul Mott, Kermit Richard, Ray Pousson, Charlie Blalack, Dick Alexander, Jeff Dalton, Craig Corder, Pancho McGill, Roland Wolfford, Dave Maddox, Robin Brooks, Katie Mulhollan, Shirley Almazan, Marlynne Edmondson, Paul Vaughan, Vernon Myers, Billy Denham, Reggie Parker, Louis Willey, Clyde Davis, Bob Brown, Laurie Modisette, Bob Baptista, Jay Brown, David Williams, Russell Covington, Jerry Montgomery, Harold Gross, Glenda Bass, Russell Turkel, Larry Fisher, Steve Pesek, Charles Liggio, John Garrett, Brown Claybar, Larry Warner, Shelby May, Dickie Colburn, Virgis Benoit, Dwight Bickham, Howard Minor.
David Claybar, J.L. Vincent, Ross Smith, Dave Pederson, Peggy Vincent, Charlotte Montgomery, Sleepy Smith, Gwen Barton, Ron Sigler, Pat Brown, James Sanders, B.K. Ware, Leonard Brown, Jeremy Hogg, Alicia Hebert, Reanna Morris, Ronnie Rost, Gay Richardson, Jim Turpin, Kelly Alford, Alan Whipkey, Jane Dunn, Ann Lieby, John Harrell, Max Staudt, Charlotte Tucker, Glenn Hill, Maurice Mueschke, Martha Oliver, John Young, Tommy Ewing, Ernie Dyer, Carroll Holt, Shane Johns, Denise Himel, Sid Caillavet, Paul Patin, Lona Vasquez.
Dennis Duhon, Calvin Parker, Jimmy Sattler, Rodney Dove, Lawrence Hunt, Eddie Faulk, Cornel Thompson, Sam Kittrell, Dick Behnke, Dora Lorimer, Ronnie Burton, Robert “Woody” Wood, Vicky Walters, Mike White, Frank Skeeler, David Payne, John Hersey, Dee Payne, Haazen Kenney, Bonnie Mingle, John Kimbrough, Wayne Peveto, Gene Alsandor, Bubba Lanning, Wayne Morris, Dale LeBlanc, Sammy Owens, Heath Mouton, Harold Fuqua, Roger Hall, Joe Peery, Rocky Mize, Bob Hood, James Rigler, Robert Sims, Joe Sanders, Bill Modisette, Mark Oldham, Mackey Clasby, Vernon Collier, Michael Arnaud, Jay Ayers, Jeanette Cleaver, Ray Burch, Gerhard Hommel, Walter Landisch.
Jimmy Sims, Joe Ware, Roy Dunn, Phyllis Ryan, Eric Hinton, Debbie Fusilier, Penny Leleux, Debbie Buckalew, Ricky Trahan, Melinda Gipson, Jet Toohey, James Stringer, Alan Sanders, John Cooper, Glenn Toohey, Sam Lucia, Lon Craft, Margaret Peeples, Mike Abbott, Charles Gant, Oliver Seastrunk, Earl Geis, Mike Leonard, Van Vandervoort, Jack Burney, Brandon Landry, Randy Crouch, Ray Rogers, Gary Stelly, Pat Johnson, Andy Allen, Keith Staudt, Brandon Fisher, Fred Zoch, Troy Burke, Bubba Brown, David Clary, Joey Campbell, Robert Query, Gary Thibodeaux, Tim Bonnin, Jay James, John Griffith, Randy Jarrell, Jimmy Jones, Joe Payne, Donald Moss, Betty Melton, Doug Nelms, Cecil Sylvester, Roy Knolley, Wade Smith, Jerry Priddy, Shea Brown, Sam Ambers, John Raughton, Pat Leverne, James Scott, Ann Harner, Jenny Taylor, David Trahan, Rick Southard, Donnie Shockley, Jr., John Crawford, Jim Gordon, Jim Colley, Sue Rathburn, Keith Lyons, Wayne Franklin, Mandy Rogers, Terry Landry, Billie Rogers, Albert Gore, Betsy Phillips, Trent Cooper, Steve Toal, James Ray, Mike Hughes, Mark Magnuson, Ed Rasmussen, Gary Mulhollan, Miles Hall, Bobby Tanner, Jason Gipson, Jade Saucier, Georgia Corder, Ken Manuel, Don Harmon, Sanford Lummus, Hunter Sheridan, Lewis Sims, Tommy Carroll, Van Wade, Mark Dunn.
And a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS to my e-mail readers Dick and Gail Kazmar, Bobbie, Dick and Joe Wechter, Don and Linda Bivens, Karen and Brian Smith, Lt. Logan Smith, Earl Thomas, Brock and Glenna Bult, R.C. Slocum, Paul Groncki, Jim Rodda, Joey Robins, Bobbie Earle, Wayne and Kaye Morris and for anyone I may have missed, especially you, my loyal readers who have been with Kaz’s Korner since its inception Sept. 12, 1966.