That little button is your best friend
Last updated 3/10/2009 at Noon
God made commercials so we had a reason to hit “mute.”
In the old days, with no remotes, you had to get up from the couch or shoot out the tube, Elvis-style.
“The Kang” was a trend-setter, but that one never really caught on.
Of course, commercials were creative back then, except for the Pocket Fisherman and about 50 others.
“And it really really works.”
Nice to know some things never change, and with that present my annual 2009 nominations for bad commercials.
The Snuggie: This is basically a blanket with sleeves. I’ve certainly
always wanted to look like a Trappist monk while talking on a portable
phone. But it’s great for any occasion: outside with marshmallow
sticks, just plain reading on the couch or while attending a local
little league game. I love the parents in the bleachers. They ALL have
Snuggies on, not just the two people high-fiving each other. As if to
say, “Our neighbors have Snuggies. We must get one!”
• Woolite Rug
Stick: A woman freaks out when her friend drops by, and makes her stay
on the porch while it rains. She has a snow-white rug right by the
front door and doesn’t want it to get dirty. But Woolite helps her out
with a broom that spews cleaning fluid, even on the stairs, and later
the friend is invited back into the kingdom. A vacuum cleaner is also
involved. Seems to me too much time is needed, when you could be at the
kids’ game with your Snuggie.
• Heat Surge: “Ever since the Amish
found out the heaters have been given away, they’ve imposed a strict
two-per-household limit.” Is there an Amish board of directors who sit
around a big table? And why don’t the Amish people in the commercial
scream, “Get thee away with your modern recording device!”
Wow: I think these are just Snuggies cut into rectangular pieces. The
annoying Vince tells us, “Comes from Germany. You know the Germans
always make good stuff, right?” I take it death camps and Volkswagens
aren’t on the list. I had a ‘71 Beetle for many years that never ran.
You could also say it never ran for many years.
The Germans don’t make a bad beer though.
Which one needs, to get through these commercials, even with the mute button.