The Record Newspapers - Hometown News For Orange County, Texas

If you are reaching your so-called “Golden Years,” you most likely have a new adventure in store. I just finished eight weeks as a guest of a hospital. I escaped but learned a lot about medical practice in the USA. It is said that we have the highest quality but worst delivery of any developed nation I the world.

Your first challenge is to negotiate the requirement to gain access. What insurance or what government program such as Medicare apply. Most doctor’s offices will help somewhat.

Unless you are admitted via emergency, you will be greeted by a dozen or more forms to sign. The forms give permission for any treatment you may get and if you expire, it’s no one’s fault. You then will be wheeled to a room. You ride because they are worried that you might fall. At the room a “gowning” takes place: Not like graduation. This gown opens and closes from the rear.

The hospital bed is something you will learn to dislike. Hospital beds are about the same quality as bunk beds in the military. They appear to be designed for the convenience of staff but not for getting comfortable. In bed you are at the mercy of staff for a drink or to take care of bodily functions.

Usually, two needles are stuck in you and taped down. Most for the purpose of giving medicine. You will still be jabbed to get fresh blood. Even though you may be enjoying a nice nap, you will be roused to check your vitals and for a new shot.

The food is a story of its own. Menus are much the same, devoid of any flavor. Salt is an example. You would be surprised by the things containing salt. It is claimed that you can order special things which too often turn out to be incomplete or wrong. You might get cereal with no milk.

The one good thing about hospitals is the good nurses. With a very few exceptions, nurses are like angels.

If possible, hospital is one adventure you should avoid.